Aunt A just bought my grandma a new cordless phone because the old one died. Although she barely knew how to use the old one I guess my aunt felt she should replace it with another cordless - maybe for consistency? Actually, my assumption is that my aunt feels it's better for my grandma to have a cordless so she doesn't have to constantly get up to answer the phone since grandma's getting up there in years. First of all, the only reason my grandma has to get up to answer the phone is because my aunt calls like 10 times a day to make sure everything is ok. Maybe if she didn't call so much grandma wouldn't feel like she has to run for the phone. Damn this logic.
Next, for some reason my grandma likes to leave the phone with Aunt B who lives with us while she's in the kitchen watching reruns of ABC soaps on Soapnet. Why, I'm not quite sure because what happens is the phone rings & Aunt B says, "Ma, phone" and grandma says, "I'll get it" and goes running into the kitchen to get the phone call (which of course is Aunt A asking what she's doing - it's 9 pm at night & grandma is 85; what do you think she's doing - usually sleeping on the couch.) Now don't forget this is a cordless phone the whole purpose of which is not to have to get up to answer - are you shaking your head in disbelief yet?
So, back to the new phone, Aunt A decided to get one of those dual phones that has two handsets so one base can be plugged into the phone line but the other only needs a regular plug. The jack downstairs is by the kitchen so the main phone went there. The second one was put in the living room only instead of putting it on the end table right where the plug is, Grandma pulls out an ugly TV tray (fake, brown wood laminate with gold trim and legs) & sets it next to the couch as if it's a piece of furniture then she sets the 2nd base on it. Tonight I asked her why she decided to do that and not just put it on the pretty end table the purpose of which is holding lamps and phones and she says, "I didn't want to move everything to make room." I look at the end table which has a huge space on it where the tiny base can fit comfortably and see the outlet under it has an open socket and proceed to scratch my head. What the hell is she talking about? Are we looking at the same end table? P.S. It's the only end table in the living room so that was a rhetorical question.
Just when I thought things couldn't get weirder... So, like I said, one would think that this dual handset thing would be a good solution to the running for the phone thing. Grandma can leave one handset in the kitchen with Aunt B while she has the other by her in the living room - no running for the phone. Oh contraire mon frere. Tonight the phone rings and rings and rings. I hear grandma say she'll get it so I get up to investigate. Again grandma is getting up from the living room to get the phone in the kitchen. When she finally gets off the phone with, oh you know, wait for it, Aunt A, I ask, "Why did you get up to answer the phone?" At first she tells me it was because she couldn't see the buttons (the lights were off in the living room) so she went into the kitchen where the light was. Then she says she had to go get the phone because it was in the kitchen. So I said, "You have 2 handsets now, you can keep the living room phone by you..."
I just don't understand grandmas....